Teachable Moments

Surf Lessons

by Deiton Charlemagne

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Imagine taking a road trip during a pandemic. Imagine, when you make it to LA, you’re naive enough to take surf lessons during a pandemic. A bucket-hatted bro , teaching you to surf, explaining its hierarchy of rules: 

  1. Paddle

  2. If you lose track of where the board is, bundle into a fetal ball and protect the back of your neck. 

  3. Keep your legs straight. 

  4. When you see a wave you want to catch, paddle

  5. Look back at the wave coming and paddle faster

  6. Keep paddling

  7. When the wave begins to carry you, hop up

  8. Keep your feet parallel and your knees bent. 

  9. Stretch your arms wide, like you’re in a warrior II

  10. Crouch like you’re in a chair pose

  11. When you’re done, fall backward with outstretched arms like you’re being crucified.

  12. Thank the ocean for not killing you. 

Hollywood

22 June, 2020


 

Deiton Charlemagne fronts a reggae cover band. He lives in Put-In-Bay, USA.